Three New Polls in Honour of Hip-Hop Week

In honour of my special hip-hop theme next week, I offer you three reader’s choice polls. Hip-hop seems to be a polarising subject. People seem to love it, hate it, hate to love it, or love to hate it. Sadly, at times I fall into all those categories, which is why I am leaving it up to you, the reader, to decide the next subjects for the time capsule movie blog, the next career I look at, and a special encore for my Diddiology series.

First, as many of you know, I ran the last time capsule blog poll for the past two weeks and stated that the top two vote getters would be covered. I also said there would be a run-off if there was a tie. First place, with a decisive victory, was Snoop Dogg’s 2001 horror film “Bones”. There was a three way tie for second place, but since I have not been able to procure a usable copy of “Rappin’” it will now be up to the readers to decide if the final film will be “Judgment Night” or “Tales from the Hood”. You have until next Thursday to place your vote. Here are the trailers once again to refresh your memory:

Judgment Night

Tales from the Hood

The next career I will focus on (akin to my study of Ben Stiller) will focus on rapper-actors and look at both the music they made as well as the films they have starred in. Since Will Smith and Ice-T will have pieces written about them already, here are your four choices. Voting in this poll will go on until Wednesday.

Busta Rhymes- He hasn’t been in very many (good) movies and his recording output varies in quality to an almost alarming degree, but even at his worst Busta handles himself well and usually comes out on top no matter what the case. Even in terrible movies or in guest spots on terrible albums, Busta is usually the M.V.P. His career retrospective will run from his early days as a member of the Leaders of the New School to his current works on Dr. Dre’s Aftermath Records.

DMX- This man is bat shit crazy and kind of an asshole. OK, so he is a major asshole, but it hasn’t stopped him from putting out a couple of decent hard-as-hell albums, some astoundingly cheesy/embarrassingly entertaining movies, and one god awful book. His analysis will not only include pop-culture references, but a look at the man himself in his days starting out as Dark Man X up to his long gestating (and possibly unlistenable) album in the works with Dr. Dre at the helm.

Ice Cube- Out of all the choices this week, Cube probably has the most prolific career. He started off as part of NWA, then moved on to a successful solo career, became a music video director, then an actor, then a writer, a producer, and a feature film director. The man has pretty much done it all and never cared about anyone’s feathers being ruffled in the process. From the birth of NWA and the tumult that followed to his recent successes and failures on the silver screen, Cube has a résumé to be reckoned with both inside the hip-hop community and out.

Tupac Shakur- You will find no conspiracy theories if I cover Tupac’s career because they are all pretty ludicrous. This will strictly be a look at a man who had a huge heart, but was also quite paradoxical. Tupac was undoubtedly one of the best young rappers and best young actors at the time of his death. His early days before he went hardcore will be discussed as well as the wealth of turgid posthumous releases that for the most part Tupac never wanted released to begin with. There will also be a discussion about the documentary “Tupac: Resurrection” and personal reflections from a man who lived and breathed everything Tupac.

Finally, I had no idea going in exactly what I had started when I began dissecting the videos of Sean Combs. Diddiology was far and away the most popular series I have debuted in the blog thus far. My take on the rock remix of “All About the Benjamins” is the only blog I have written with hundreds of hits, with the other Diddy entries not far behind. They have been the majority of the blogs I have received emails about. It is with that in mind that I have decided to do an encore as a way of extending my thanks to you for all the support. Now it is up to the readers to decide which of these seven songs (all viewable online and briefly described here) will close out the show for good. There can be only one and there will not be another one after this. This poll only runs until Monday, so be sure to vote early on this one.

“I’ll Be Missing You” (Featuring Faith Evans and 112)- I will be honest and up front about this song. I just don’t want to cover it. Yes, it is a bad song. Yes, it is now more recognisable than the Police song it samples. Yes, the video is pretty bad. I have been avoiding it because it has been stomped on enough and it is the only time when I haven’t actually doubted Puffy’s sincerity. But, a lot of the emails I receive ask me when I am going to cover this song, so if the people will it I have to suck it up and play it like a band sick of playing their greatest hit.

“P.E. 2000”- I largely avoided Diddy’s 1999 album “Forever” because even the three singles were pretty forgettable. This odd choice for a first single samples Public Enemy and included Flava Flav in the video alongside wind chimes, house music, an extended dance sequence, and sets so stock for a Diddy video that it looks like he reused half of them.

“Satisfy You” (Featuring R. Kelly)- What could be more unsettling than anything featuring R. Kelly? The fact that all the sexual innuendo in this NSFW video comes from the vocally stunted Diddy. Kelly doesn’t even do much. The beat is also lifted from a song only four years older than this and was originally about smoking a shit load of weed.

“Best Friend”- Diddy made an entire gospel album and then shelved the whole thing without ever saying why. This song (featuring Mario Winans) found its way onto the “Victory” album as the only survivor.

“I Need a Girl (Parts 1 and 2)” (Part 1 featuring Usher and Loon and Part 2 Featuring Mario Winans, Ginuwine, and Loon)- Let’s all take some relationship advice from Diddy with this two part song with two very different tones and videos. Part one is the more soulful and sad on about losing what you love and part two is the angry part about moving on. Neither is very good except for Usher’s contributions.

“Come to Me” (Featuring Nicole Scherzinger)- I know one of the other gripes some readers had was that I never touched on Diddy’s newest album “Press Play” and after having revisited the three choices that appear on this list, I wish I had. This video seems more of a showcase for the former Pussycat Doll because Diddy looks fucking ridiculous; dancing with both a toothpick and a hideous grill in his mouth wit one of the worst verses in recorded history.

“Last Night” (Featuring Keyshia Cole)- Diddy actually tries singing (!!!) over a new wave Casio beat I could have made when I was six. Worst of all, Cole does him absolutely no favours.

“Tell Me” (Featuring Christina Aguilera)- Diddy ruins a killer beat and a perfectly awesome Christina Aguilera song simply by showing up and opening his mouth. His rhymes here hearken back to “Come With Me” only sped up. Through it all, however, Aguilera wipes the floor with him (or the wind tunnels as it were).