Because You Want to Book Club #15: "Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants?"

Growing up in the shadow of the Sunset Strip during the hair metal (or glam metal, if you prefer) craze must have been quite an experience. Television writer Craig Williams tries his best to document his not so meteoric rise to minimal success with his high school metal band Onyxxx (the extra xs added because the rap group threatened legal action and then an all female metal band from Texas insisted they had the rights to use two xs), but for all the humorous anecdotes sprinkled throughout the book, it ultimately falls flat on its face.

“Pants” tells the story of four friends Craig (guitar and backing vocals), Tyler (vocals), Sonny (bass and keyboards), and Kyle (drums) who worshiped the ground that bands like Motley Crue and Guns N Roses walked upon and dreamed of following in their footsteps. They weren’t tremendously talented, but they had something a lot of people liked. They had an amazing sense of style, and quite often near the end of the glam metal heyday, that was enough to get by.

Onyxxx (formerly known as Devolution, both names chosen by Craig randomly out of books) played all the big houses on the Strip by the end of their short career together. They were simply too young and inexperienced in the end to keep on adequately rocking in the free world, and this book tell their ups and downs; from signing breasts and sneaking into strip clubs to line up changes, in-fighting, and botched shows all while trying to complete their class work.

The story at the heart of “Pants” is a good one and parts of the book play like great scenes from a movie, but when reading a book about it, you expect to learn more about the people involved. Craig might not remember much about what happened now, but he really doesn’t make any attempts to fill in the gaps with details. The book rushes along at almost too fast of a pace. Granted, this isn’t a plot heavy book, but in the end I didn’t feel much richer for the experience. What Williams has included in the book is good, but it hints at something much better just below the surface. Maybe a bit more background into the scene at the time which was absolutely fascinating but only gets cursory references here and there would add something to the mixture. This is a book that is, like a good album, devoid of any filler, but as such it also feels very forced. It would probably make a better movie than a book.

Grade: C-