Movie Time Capsule Blog #12: "Vacancy"

Poor Luke Wilson. The guy can’t seem to catch a break these days. Most of his movies recently, including his directorial debut “The Wendell Baker Story”, have gotten only cursory theatrical releases before being relegated to the shelves of video stores where they will soon be forgotten. His most high profile film, outside of cameos, in the past five years, “My Super Ex-Girlfriend”, was an embarrassing failure. Some people have even gone as far as to say he’s cursed. He already has to live in the shadow of his more successful brother, Owen. Wilson’s biggest starring role was in “Old School”, which is remembered more for Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell than for his contributions as the centre of the entire film. I wonder if he cries himself to sleep next to the phone while waiting for Wes Anderson to call or to hear that Martin Lawrence has finally agreed to make “Blue Streak 2.”

Poor Kate Beckinsale. She is a fine actress often stuck in the most ridiculous movies. She used to be a serious British actress, but is now often relegated to starring in ludicrous horror-action hybrids (the god awful and inexplicably successful “Underworld” franchise and the more recent “Doomsday”) or the stock romantic interest (the highly overrated “Serendipity”). She is now remembered as either wearing skin tight leather or as the girl next door. Some people fantasise about a combination of the two. I wonder if she looks up at the stars every night hoping never having to go back to Prague to shoot any more movies entirely set at night again that her husband just might be directing (She is married to “Underworld” director Len Wiesman).

Through some inexplicable twist of fate (and because Josh Duhmel and Sarah Jessica Parker dropped out at the last second) Wilson and Beckinsale find themselves cast out of type in the suspense thriller “Vacancy.” I have decided to include “Vacancy,” which was a modest hit upon its release one year ago, in the time capsule blog not only because of its strange choice of leads, but because this seems like a movie that is even now starting to be forgotten about. No one will be dissecting or discussing the merits of “Vacancy” in ten years and probably obscure film cultists like myself will be the only ones looking back on it at all. I still don’t know a single person other than myself that has even seen “Vacancy” and I don’t expect that number to rise much in the future. It seems destined to become a footnote in the history of the new millennium horror revival.

“Vacancy” is only 85 minutes long and nothing happens in the first half hour. Nothing at all. We are treated to watching Beckinsale and Wilson bickering in a car. They are a couple on the cusp of a divorce who haven’t been the same since the death of their son. I kind of enjoyed watching the two of them go back and forth and I liked that “Vacancy” makes it clear from its Hitchcockian opening credits that it is a suspense thriller and not a horror movie. Both characters on the surface appear to be stock in nature, but they are hard roles to play effectively: Beckinsale is the over medicated grieving mother and Wilson is the frustrated husband that can never admit when he has ever been wrong. “Vacancy” is not awarded any points for originality, but in an era where people in scary movies often serve no greater purpose than dying, it is already ahead of the game.

Wilson has managed to get the two of them lost (*yawn*) on a deserted road in the middle of the forest (*stretches*). They meet a gas station attendant in the middle of the night who points them towards the interstate (*zzzzzzzzz*). Naturally, they break down in the middle of nowhere and have to walk back to the gas station. The gas station is closed, but the creepy motel next door is still open. With this turn of events, “Vacancy” has gone from novel to cliché in the span of a little under eight minutes, but at least they didn’t waste much time doing it. Even Wilson and Beckinsale’s seemingly educated characters check their brains at the door when they enter the motel office and hear several minutes of sustained screaming coming from behind the desk.

When they retire to the room provided for them by the hotel manager (who looks like a cross between Kip from “Napoleon Dynamite” and the Andrews from “Hot Fuzz”) they are immediately harassed by hang-up calls and pounding on the windows and doors that seem to be coming from some unknown and unseen source. When Wilson decides to watch one of the videos left in the room, he is shocked to discover that all the videos are snuff films depicting people being brutally murdered in the same room.

Seeing that “Vacancy” is still a very recent movie and that some people probably still want to see it I am going to resist the urge to spoil anything, but if you have seen any movie like this in the past you can tell for the most part exactly what is going to happen. The plot of the movie is so indistinguishable it practically blends into the background. Besides, the previous paragraph covers a point that happens almost exactly halfway into the movie. All that would really be left to spoil would be the ending.

Wilson and Beckinsale alternate between being really clever and really stupid at a jarring rate. Wilson’s character can devise elaborate plans, but can’t see the most obvious things that are staring him in the face. Beckinsale is strong and ready to kick someone’s ass one minute and then seems totally unaware of the gravity of the situation seconds later.

The movie also seems to create its own sense of logic that I simply can’t understand. The smart/stupid switch that Wilson and Beckinsale seem to have become equipped with applies to the villains as well. There are leaps in logic that Evel Knievel wouldn’t jump with a jumbo fucking jet. The climactic showdown is satisfying, but abrupt and pretty incoherent, and the final scene is groan inducing because the movie has decided to throw all of the logic it spent the better part of 80 minutes creating back out the window. The final scene in no way follows any of the directions the movie had previously set forth.

But despite all that is wrong with “Vacancy,” I was almost tempted to give it a pass. Suspense thrillers these days like to use gore and visual torture to elicit a reaction from the audience, and other times they go so soft that they aren’t even as scary as an episode of “The Smurfs.” “Vacancy”, however, is relatively gore free and is just intense enough to keep you in suspense despite knowing damn well what is going to happen. The snuff films that drive the plot are barely shown and the violence that you do see is far more realistic than having buckets of viscera thrown in your face.

Director Nimrod Antal keeps things moving at such a fast pace that you don’t have time to get too upset over the fact that much of it doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. By the time you notice something wrong, he is already filling the hole in with something completely different; he stays sharper than his story does. Once the couple arrives at the motel everything genuinely feels like it is unfolding in real time.

While on the topic of technical merits, “Vacancy” has an amazing sound mix, which is something I rarely give a shit about unless I notice how good it is. If you were to watch this movie with a premium sound system you just might piss yourself with fear. The sound design and effects are more intricate than the plot; better thought out, too.

Wilson tries to bring a lot to his role and he almost seems glad not to be playing another bland love interest. He is almost the perfect choice for this role. He delivers the proper amount of intensity that you would expect from a normal person placed into such an extraordinarily dangerous situation. Beckinsale looks stoned through half the movie, but that is because early in the movie it is alluded to that she is heavily medicated. It is a harder character to play than many of the film’s detractors realise. While some could complain that the role is a weak and thankless female character, anyone paying attention to the film’s opening scenes would know better. Beckinsale is portraying a woman with crippling PTSD and being stuck with someone telling her to constantly snap out of it doesn’t help matters. The natural instinct for such a burdened psyche is to fight one minute and cry the next and Beckinsale portrays this to great effect especially in a scene late in the movie when we finally find out what happened to her son. It is the only twist this otherwise conventional movie offers.

Since “Vacancy” didn’t really cause Hollywood to some knocking on their doors, Wilson and Beckinsale should take comfort in the fact that they at least did something different. It might not have been slightly original or logical, but at least everyone other than the writers seemed to be trying their hardest. Sadly the writing was no better than a Film School 101 script that never got proofread.

Verdict: Middle of the Road