Because You Want to Book Club #5: "Your Movie Sucks"

When it comes to writing about film there is no one other than Pauline Kael that can hold a candle to Roger Ebert. Despite his recent battle with colon cancer that has left him without proper use of his vocal cords, Ebert returns to writing about movies this month, and being the movie nerd I am, this excites me to no end. Try as hard as I might, I know I will never be able to emulate even a fraction of the love Roger Ebert has for the movies. He pretty much knows everything there is to know about the business and even if you stump him with a question, he can point you in the direction of countless other people who would know the answer. Roger Ebert is much more than the chubby man I hated so much as a youngster because he panned every movie I thought (at the time mostly) was cool; he is a writer of immense wit and vision who, unlike some factual "know-it-alls" like A.J. Jacobs, uses his wealth of knowledge for good and not to shove it down someone's throat. His knowledge extends far beyond cinema to science and history meaning he could probably destroy anyone in a game of Trivial Pursuit.

In the past, Ebert had written essays that he published as collections that stood as loving volumes to all that is good and just in Hollywood. While such books are immensely readable, I found that I could only take so much loving praise in a single sitting. More recently, however, Ebert has taken his publishing in the opposite direction with equal affect: publishing his most scathing reviews in "I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie" (a semi-direct quote from his legendary rant about the now almost completely forgotten Elijah Wood bomb "North") and most recently in "Your Movie Sucks" (a direct quote from the most smartassed and pointed critique Rob Schneider will probably ever receive).

Both books were like a dream come true for me. I love a good trainwreck and Ebert gives off the vibe that if he detests something, he can at least have fun writing about it in a cathartic fashion. I read "Hated" when it first came out around 2001 or so and despite "Sucks" being published last year, I am only now getting around to reading it. For a fan of Ebert's work, I have to say I was not disappointed, but I did hold some slight misgivings.

Since "Hated" covered mostly everything Ebert reviewed in his life up until the late 90s, "Sucks" has a much smaller pool to work from and no reviews for anything that came out before 2000 are included. Also, while "Hated" would include humorous reviews of movies that were granted up to two and a half stars, "Sucks" is strictly bottom of the barrel (or in the case of "Freddy got Fingered," something far worse than that) with nothing getting more than one and a half stars. While "Hated" felt like a greatest hits package of snark and humorous commentary, "Sucks" is bogged down with a lot of filler. The publishers should have realized that not every poor review is necessarily a funny one. Also, this collection contains numerous obscure movies that I have never heard of and now could care even less about.

The book remains wonderfully entertaining, however, because for every review that feels like filler, there are three or four that genuinely warrant inclusion. I still recommend the book, but I will also freely admit that you can find all his reviews, good, bad, or otherwise, on his website. While "Sucks" is readable, it isn't anything you can't already find online for free. Either way, it is a better way to kill a dreary afternoon than watching a double feature of A Cinderella Story and The Skulls. I might not always agree with him, but I will always enjoy reading him.

Grade: A+ for the writing, but a B for the book itself.