Metal and horror movies go together like peanut butter and jelly (or ladies if you prefer). You almost can’t have one without the other. In the past twenty years, with a few dubious hip-hop related exceptions, almost every horror film has had at least one metal or nu metal song on the soundtrack.
Much like the terms “emo” and “indie” the word “metal” has become completely subjective. It wasn’t always this way. In metal’s heyday from the late 70’s to the late 80’s, if something was metal, you immediately knew it and almost no discussion was required. If a band was on “Headbanger’s Ball” prior to 1989, the band was metal as fuck.
Despite metal’s degeneration into numerous sub-genres, many of which end in –core and thusly denote a punk connection that isn’t entirely accurate, metal and horror have remained the best of friends. The dark, ethereal release of metal in a way perfectly counterbalances the nihilism inherent in most splatterfests. No matter how off-putting the violence is or how real and intense it may seem, most viewers that aren’t bat shit crazy can tell the difference to a real murder and one set to Megadeth.
Based on such a pairing, one would think that a horror movie about demonic messages buried within metal music made in the mid-1980’s would have been a can’t miss proposition no matter how dated it would become over time. The idea could be a wonderful starting point for a grotesque satire and broad critique of censorship in general. Or you could play it straight and become a trash cinema classic. Alas, much like Metallica’s career, 1986’s “Trick or Treat” (not to be confused with the much delayed “Trick ‘r Treat” due out sometime within the next few years) starts off hitting all the right notes before giving way to the false metal that the film spends its better half railing against.
The film opens in the bedroom of a young metal fan after an admittedly pretty metal opening credit sequence. The walls are adorned with the posters probably pilfered from purveyors of the pre-eminent metal poster publications of the time. All the greats are here: Priest, Ozzy, Quiet Riot, and the man to whom the young man is writing at the start of the film, Sammi Kerr. The name of the fictional Kerr is about as cerebral as the film gets.
The young and unfortunately named lead character Ragman (real name Eddie and played by “Family Ties” alumnus Marc Price) writes his letter to Kerr in such a painfully awkward and innocent fashion that you can’t help but snicker and feel for him at the same time. Almost on the verge of tears over the cancellation of Kerr’s Halloween concert at Kerr’s former and Ragman’s current high school due to Kerr’s “suggestive lyrics and on stage theatrics,” Ragman uses phrases like the obviously stolen from Led Zeppelin but still profound “song remains the same” and the unintentionally hilarious “rock’s chosen warriors will lead the way” without a shred of irony or regret.
It is a testament to Price’s performance that he never once adds a knowing wink or nod to the audience that you would probably find in a more contemporary movie of this nature. Ragman is hopelessly awkward (albeit with little back-story to explain why). Ragman is so socially stunted that it remains unclear if he is actually writing to Kerr as a pen pal or it is as if Kerr is a journal in which he expresses his feelings.
Unlike most movies, “Trick or Treat” eschews traditional metal stereotypes through its lead character. Ragman is definitely not a scary person or intimidating or bullish like a lot of metalheads are portrayed. Ragman’s school life is hell and he is teased constantly and bullied by almost everyone at the school. His bullying isn’t even brought on as a result of him liking metal music. The other “normal” kids simply single him out based on awkwardness and innocence alone.
Shortly after writing the letter to Kerr we are shown footage of Kerr testifying before a Senate subcommittee looking into “rock pornography.” Then after the clip is shown on the nightly news do we learn that Kerr just died in a hotel fire earlier in the day. The causes of the fire were mysterious, but if Kerr was as metal as he was reported to be the room was probably soaked in Jack Daniels and it went up in a fire ball while falling asleep with a cigarette in his mouth.
Needless to say Ragman is inconsolable and rips down all the posters in his room as if he had just gone through a really bad break-up. When he comes to the poster of Sammi, however, Ragman can’t bring himself to tear it down and resigns himself to crying himself to sleep. I have been there. I cried myself to sleep when Jim Henson died and threw my Ernie doll across the room out of frustration and sadness. I felt so bad about it afterwards that I held Ernie all night within an inch of my life. But that’s not very metal at all now, is it?
Then just in time for Rocktober, we are introduced to a make-up and plastic surgery free Gene Simmons as the town’s lone metal disc jockey, Nuke, although with the ridiculous cowboy hat he wears he looks more like a roadie for Poison than a self-proclaimed rock god. Simmons plays the role of sympathetic mentor to ragman in his brief but effective cameo. Gene genuinely likes the kid, but wilfully admits to him that the man he idolizes was an enormous asshole who was “mad all the time.”
Before you can say “magic ticket,” Simmons gives Ragman a parting gift: the original copy of the last song recorded by Sammi Kerr. The song wasn’t going to be released to air until
That night Ragman puts the album on and begins to drift to sleep to the tune of the worst song in the world. Also, for an original copy it is already skipping and is clearly saying something backwards. When Ragman’s curiosity is piqued and since he can’t go back to sleep he plays the record backwards and is told to “let the others hurt themselves” and mumbles something about “bait.”
Upon his return to school the following morning he is harassed once again by the ascot and dickey crowd. After dumping food all over one of the jocks (the leader of which looks like an asshole version of Mark Hoppus, but is played by Doug Savant of “Desperate Housewives” fame) what ensues is quite possibly one of the best and most ridiculous hallway chases in cinematic history. (This clip includes both the first listening to the record as well as the chase, but the chase needs to be seen to be believed. Trust me when I say you won’t regret it.)
It becomes apparent that Ragman has a connection to the record and to Sammi whenever the album is played backwards, which no matter how satanic it might be is still better than listening to it forwards and at a normal speed.
It was at this point that I was mentally reminded that Diablo Cody is currently working on a film about a girl who gets brainwashed by a satanic emo band. My biggest hope is that she watch the first two-thirds of “Trick or Treat” (if she hasn’t already) and takes note of the painfully awkward dialog spoken here that wouldn’t seem out of place in a “Juno” or “Napoleon Dynamite” type movie. Hell, if
For example, upon returning to school after vanquishing his foes the previous day, Ragman decides with his newfound confidence to compliment one of his female friends on their attire.
Ragman: “What are those?”
Girl: “Jeans.”
Ragman: “They’re you.”
By horror movie standards “Trick of Treat” really takes its sweet time to get going. Ragman doesn’t even realize that what Sammi is telling him to do is getting far too murderous until an hour into the movie when the record has already sent one girl to the hospital after listening to a mixtape Ragman made for her, made Doug Savant go insane, and told him to kill his mother because, and I quote:
“NO FALSE METAL!”
It is made apparent when Sammi shows up in Ragman’s room in a bolt of lightning before eating a cameoing Ozzy Osbourne (playing of all things an evangelical preacher), that Sammi can appear out of anything that can receive a signal and trying to unplug him will cause you to be tossed across the room like a toss across.
Sammi as he is portrayed here looks about as terrifying as Nikki Sixx stumbling out of a burn ward after passing out face down in a cast iron skillet. Not to say that the actor portraying him doesn’t do a good job (Tony Fields, who sadly died of cancer made worse by AIDS only a few years after the film’s release), but I don’t think he looked in any way terrifying. Aside from the burns on his face he looks very typical.
The next morning Ragman sends his friend Roger (played by “Final Destination” creator and “X-Files” scribe Glen Morgan in his only acting role ever) to track down a copy of the song on tape and destroy it. Roger mistakes “destroy” for “listen to” and both shockingly and unshockingly Sammi appears. Instead of killing Roger Sammi tells him to play his tape at the big Halloween dance later that night. Sammi kills someone else through the TV and leaves.
The big scene where Sammi is finally able to play the Halloween gala at his old high school should be the movie’s chance to make up for the fact that up until this point it has been completely bloodless. Sadly, it is ultimately where the film begins to fail spectacularly and never look back. Sammi’s solos might be able to literally melt faces, but the whole scene (punctuated by the music of the band Fastway that included singer Dave King who would go on to form, of all things, Flogging Molly and Eddie Clark of Motorhead) plays like a metal nerd retread of the prom in Carrie.
This video is actually the song from the credits, but I include it here to show everyone just what the music sounds like and how almost unfathomable that the lead singer would go on to front an Irish punk band.
The entire third act feels horribly chopped up and rushed as the filmmakers must have felt the need to hurry up and tie up all their loose ends before the 98 minute running time is up. If you aren’t even going to show your villain until an hour into the film, you shouldn’t race the plot to the finish line.
To say that the film’s climax and ending are a pointless and incoherent letdown is an understatement, but it does involve an electrocution involving someone getting a hand stuck in the toilet. People race around from point A to point B with no explanation as to how the hell they got there and continuity is thrown to the wolves. You would think that a movie that manages to cram three car chases into its last twenty minutes would be able to explain such logistics. There is really no excuse for it other than sheer laziness and shoddy editing. Come to think of it, does any horror movie really even need one car chase?
Ultimately “Trick or Treat” starts off quite cleverly which would have made its descent into genre conventions almost forgivable or at the very least entertaining. The films decent into complete incompetence nearly squanders all the good will it has earned. It changes tone and style so abruptly and in an unconvincing fashion it almost feels like it was made by a completely different crew and nearly sinks the entire project. It never manages to be scary, suspenseful, gory, or menacing and everything plays out exactly how you think it would. And in the end a horror movie that isn’t scary, isn’t metal. It’s inventive and clever first and second acts save it from abject abasement.
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